HOOTER HILARITY

On the teenage grandchildren's visit this year we took an unusual excursion. Don't fall out of your chair when you read where we went. We went to Hooters for lunch one day. Jay wanted a Hooter's T shirt to wear on his trip to Cozumel. Lucy didn't want to go at all, thought Hooters had naked ladies and she didn't want to be embarrassed.. Gramps told her Hooters in the neighboring city is just like Applebee's but the girls have on shorts and T shirts. She agreed to go.
Sure enough, It was a nice place with good food and the girls were modestly dressed. Their medium sized busts were not as large as the teenagers had all imagined. I guess the teenagers had imagined that the girls would fall over forward with their larger than life bosoms.
After we walked into the restaurant Lucy remarked that the shorts the girls wear are just like the shorts she plays volleyball in, and that her friend Sue has a bigger bust than the girls at Hooters. The trip was a lesson to them on how wrong judgments can emanate from the imagination.
After we sat there a while having fun, laughing and talking, Gramps looked at some of the waitresses and said, "I'll bet none of them are real, anyway." To which Jackson, the oldest grandson with us, said, "I wasn't thinking anything about that, Grandpa. I was just thinking how beautiful the female body is." Sam, the youngest teenage grandson, said, "I wasn't looking at the girls, I was contemplating the theory of quantum physics." Lucy, our oldest granddaughter, said, "I was contemplating the end of the world." Jay, always the clown, said, "I was thinking exactly what Granpa was thinking." We all roared.
It has always been like that for the entire time our grandkids visit, a laugh a minute.
Everyone thinks we are nutty for taking them to Hooter's, but we don't want to make anything seem forbidden to them when, in reality, it is nothing that they won't see at the neighborhood pool or at a volleyball game. The girls at Hooter's seemed to all of us like the girl next door, sweet and kind, and really good waitresses.
Gramps took the kids to Chaps the next day, a local hot dog place, which is a tradition for them to go to at least once on their visits. When they got back they said the girl who fixed their hot dogs was dressed more revealing than the girls at Hooters.
Go figure!
A valuable lesson learned!

DISAPPEARING GRAMPS

The dollar movie always provides great entertainment for us, sometimes from the movies and sometimes from our experiences at the movies. See, we always go to a movie that is showing at noon on Sunday after we have our amazing lunch at Sam’s Discount for $1.67 for a hotdog and unlimited pops. That makes our outing that day cost a whopping six bucks. Our last experience at the movie theater was silly, but gave us a big laugh. We were late getting to the theater because we left home late. It was dark when we walked into the theater that was showing our choice of movie for the day. We were the only ones who were interested in the particular showing that day, I guess, because we had the room to ourselves. In the darkness we felt our way down the aisle touching every end seat on our way in an effort to keep our bearings. As we came to the middle of the aisles and what seemed like the perfect row of seats I asked Gramps if that seemed to be the right distance from the screen. He said it was perfect, so I entered the row of seats and felt each seat until I figured we would be in the center of the screen. I sat down in one of the theater’s newly acquired plush secondhand seats, ready to enjoy the romantic movie (commonly called a chick flick) with my hubby. It was still unusually dark in the room but I was glad we were able to find our way down the aisle, stumbling into the center and into the right seats. The coming attractions began immediately. I commented to Gramps that I wanted to see a certain upcoming movie because it looked like it would be entertaining. Gramps remarked that he would like to see it, also, but when he said it I wondered if he had acquired a bad sore throat on the way into the theater because he commented in a very far away, weak sounding voice. It took me a minute to figure out that Gramps had entered an aisle a couple of rows behind me rather than the aisle I was seated in. He was relaxing in a seat in a different aisle, ready for the feature to begin. There we were, the only couple in the movie theater sitting several rows apart, albeit but in the perfect center of our respective aisles. Anyone entering the room at the time would have thought were mad at each other, taking seats in different rows in the theater with every other seat in the huge room empty. Now, I know that Gramps still has great eyesight because he has two new lenses in his eyes after having cataract surgery. However, I’m wondering about his hearing. The next day when I fixed dinner I put our plates on trays because we wanted to watch TV while we ate. I got the trays beautifully prepared and called Gramps and told him to come get his tray. He didn’t answer immediately so I got closer and yelled out, “Come get your tray. Dinner is ready.” Gramps immediately yelled back, “Artificial intelligence.” Where in the world did that come from? He still can’t remember what he thought I said. I do think we need to have his hearing checked. Or yet, maybe he’s trying to get a message across to me. “Artificial intelligence“? Humm, I better think a while longer on that remark.

HEARTS BECOME ANGELS

Mercedes is a beautiful name, to me always signifying elegance and beauty. When a friend announced to me that her great granddaughter’s name is Mercedes, I was very impressed. I knew that the little girl has a name standing for elegance and beauty. When I finally met Mercedes I knew that her name was perfect, because I saw a little girl who is beautiful, smart and elegant.
At the time I did not know that Mercedes is artistic, also. I had heard that her teachers have said that she is gifted, but I had never seen first hand evidence of that myself until recently.
My friend Jane, who is Mercedes’ great grandmother, told me that the five year old girl had one day asked for some readings from the Bible. Jane obliged her and when she opened her Bible a message called Dear Ones was visible, so Jane read it to her. The message was signed, “Love, God.” Mercedes was very impressed by the signature so she asked Jane if she could draw a heart below the part that read, “Love, God.” Jane told her that yes, of course she could add her personal touch to God’s closing signature on the message.
Mercedes drew a beautiful heart but didn’t stop there. She added her personal artistic touch by using the heart as the body of an angel as she added a head, two wings and two legs with feet to make a wonderful picture of an angel. That was a creative and unique idea, to make an angel out of the picture of God’s heart of love. I think that Mercedes knows God a lot better than a lot of adults. Jesus said a little child shall lead them. In this instance Mercedes’ artistic drawing has led me to see God’s love and his angels in every heart shaped image that I see.
I’m eager to see what Mercedes’ next artistic stroke of genius will be. She will amaze us all, I know.

NATHANIEL THE GIVER

There are nice gifts, good gifts, great gifts and then there are memorable gifts. Our grandson Nathan gave me a memorable gift several years ago and I keep it by my bed so I can see it and remember him and the occasion.
We had taken five of our grandchildren to Incredible Pizza in Tulsa and they, of course, collected lots of tickets from the game machines with plans to get something really big and valuable with their tickets. Sometimes they pool their tickets and get a big thing they can all play with. Other times they each keep their own tickets and spend time picking out various prizes to play with.
When Nathan was choosing his prizes he chose a little funny doll with a shirt that had a red heart in the middle of the front and a message that said, “I have Jesus in my heart.” He immediately came to me and told me that he got the prize for me. I was so touched that he had thought about me, but I was more deeply touched by the idea that he knew that Jesus is important to my life and knew that I would treasure it.
After I brought the doll home, I put it right next to my bed and have only removed it to dust it off. Every day I look at the doll at least three or four times and think about Nathan and his generosity. I also think about the fact that Jesus is truly in my heart and He is precious to me just like Nathan is in my heart and is precious to me.
I will never give that doll away and I will never throw it away. In fact, I think I’ll leave instructions that it is somehow supposed to go to heaven with me when I am through with this earthly body. I want Jesus to see the doll and know what a generous, kind young man Nathan is.
Well, I guess Jesus already know that; doesn’t he?
Thank you again, Nathan, for a gift that keeps on giving comfort and love to your Grandma.

AN AFTERNOON WITH Tory

The doorbell rang and there she was, Tory, my eight year old friend, with a wonderful gift for me. In her hand she held a beautiful bracelet she had made out of beads. The middle of the bracelet was graced with a butterfly bead and on either side were many shiny turquoise and white beads. The bracelet easily slipped onto my wrist and I wore it with pride the rest of the day, even though I came by the wonderful gift second handed since she had originally taken it to another neighbor who wasn’t home, so she generously decided to bring it to me. I was pleased that she thought so highly of me to consider sharing her labors with me.
Tory is a wonderful girl, very giving and cheerful. We have found common interests arts and crafts and gardening.
An hour was spent with Tory helping me prune some plants and pull dead, spindly growths from other wintering ones. She is such a willing worker. When we are out of town I know I can trust her to feed the stray cat who hangs around our house wanting food but absolutely no physical contact from humans. Tory is always trustworthy.
We talked about our lives as we worked together. She became very interested in my conversation when I told her about some of my writings, which I showed her on my computer.
Our next adventure on that particular day included doing some crafts. We have a mutual interest in creativity and, as Tory labeled herself, she’s very “artable“.
We decided to use leaves, water colors and markers to create a wreath to hang on the door. I save pieces of cardboard for just such occasions, so I dug out a couple of pieces of white cardboard. Tory immediately started in on the feat. I handed her a small glass plate and she instinctively knew to use it to trace a circle to begin the wreath. Being very self sufficient, she began the task of creating a wreath. Her only dilemma was whether to “tie-dye” the colors or to “straight line” the colors with a small craft paint brush. She decided to use both, cutting an oblong piece of cardboard and “straight lining” the letters GOD BLESS on it. You see, we have another common interest, that being God. I was able to tell her that many years ago God first identified himself to men saying, “I AM.” She was a little confused but I hope I cleared it up for her by telling her the story is found in the book of Genesis in the Bible when God told some men, “I AM everything to you.” She quickly agreed.
As we progressed on our creative process, Tory cut leaves in smaller pieces and glued them around the outside of the wreath, having successfully glued the small oblong piece with “God Bless” in the center of the wreath. Tory began to “tie dye” some colors around the God Bless, mixing some colors very effectively.
Suddenly Tory astounded me with a statement. She exclaimed, “That color is the color for Texas.” That piqued my interest since I was born and bred in Texas and I wasn’t familiar with Texas having its own color. It became very clear to me what she meant when I looked at the color that emerged when she combined dark yellow and red water colors. It became burnt orange, the color universally identified as one of the colors of the Longhorns of the University of Texas. She confirmed to me that it certainly is a Longhorns color.
A mystery was solved when I asked Tory, “How in the world does a little eight year old born and bred Okie girl know the colors of the Texas Longhorns?” Her reply was that she had a friend. a boy who was from Texas, and he had moved back after a short time in Oklahoma. She said while he was at her school he wore a Texas Longhorn T shirt one day. It seems the principal, an Oklahoma fan, said he would give something from a current school awards program to the boy to take off the offending burnt orange Texas Longhorn T shirt and only wear the underlying white T shirt. The boy was smart and he agreed to accept the bribe.
However, as Tory related to me, the boy quickly put the Texas Longhorns shirt back on over his white T shirt the minute he left the school yard.
I’ve said many times, you can never take Texas out of a Texan.
Tory overheard me telling someone about her knowledge relating to the team colors of the Longhorns and she suggested that I write a story about it. I told her I would, so I’m keeping my promise. I needed some interesting new subject matter, anyway.
It’s amazing what you can learn from an eight year old. I learned that I’m “artable” and that I can “tie dye” water colors and “straight line” water colors and that eight year old girls remember lots of things they learn from eight year old boys, even college school colors. It’s apparent he was a memorable little boy.
I wish I had known all of the things Tory knows when I was eight years old. It’s never too late to learn amazing things from children, especially ones who are smart as well as “artable“.

EXERIENCE IS THE BEST TEACHER

Sometimes our own experiences are the best teacher and sometimes someone else’s experiences are good teachers.
When I was in the fifth grade Philip Smith was the class clown. He was clever, cute and could cuss like a sailor. That made him kind of appealing to the girls because that was in the ‘40s and nobody cussed except our dads, so a young boy who had the courage to cuss kind of intrigued us. One day Philip Smith said a cuss word in class loud enough for Ms. Cox, the teacher, to hear. She immediately expelled him from class and sent him to the principal’s office. He eventually came back into class with a smile on his face. We expected him to be holding his hind parts in pain, but he wasn’t. His eyes were twinkling and he had a big smile on his face . We quizzed him on the reason for the smile and he said that the principal had told him something remarkable. He reported to us that the principal had said, “If there’s anybody in this school who gets to cuss it’s me.” That did the trick. Philip never cussed again in earshot of the teacher.
Philip wrote a clever theme one day about the old saying , “Experience is the best teacher.” He ended it with the statement that everybody thought that experience is the best teacher, but he thought that Mrs. Cox was a lot better teacher than experience.
As you can see, Philip had a way with people. I’ve often wondered what happened to him. He’s probably an actor or a comic or maybe a CEO of some big company because he could BS the best of them.
I tell you about Philip now because Gramps and I had an experience on a trip this weekend that caused me to recall Philip and his theme about experience being the best teacher.
Gramps and I were at a hotel/casino having an inexpensive weekend away from home. I don’t gamble and Gramps only plays a few hands of black jack on occasion. He used to have a problem with gambling but he has learned how to listen to that “still small voice” in the midst of his gut and quit before he loses a lot of money. He didn’t practice that wise behavior for the first 50 years of our marriage but he does now.
We were in the elevator at the hotel/casino going from the fifth floor to the first floor with the intention of eating at one of the great restaurants close to the lobby. There were other occupants of the elevator, a young couple who looked to be in their early twenties and a man who looked to be about forty years old.
Gramps asked the young couple if they were having a good time. The handsome young man remarked that he would have had a good time, except that he had lost about $700 gambling. I gasped and said that that would make a good house payment. The young man’s beautiful wife joined the conversation as she affirmed my statement by remarking, “That’s what I told him.”
The young man sadly said, “Or it would make a truck payment and pay the rent.”
This is where experience kicks into the conversation. I said to the good looking couple, “He,” meaning Gramps, “used to have a problem with gambling but he’s learned when to stop shelling out his hard earned money when he’s gambling now.”
The young man said inquisitively to Gramps, “How long did it take you to learn?”
Gramps and I said in chorus, “About fifty years.”
The young man and woman groaned loudly.
Gramps began to tell them about how he learned to stop gambling before he became a loser every time.
The other occupant of the elevator was listening to the conversation without saying a word.
When the elevator door opened, the young man darted out of the elevator onto the floor of the casino with his beautiful wife trailing along behind. However, the other man paused in front of the elevator to hear Gramps tell him how he has learned to stop shelling out money to the gambling demon when he gets a few bucks behind because that’s a good indication that he is not going to win anymore. Then he told the man that on the rare occasion that he gambles, when he gets pretty far ahead of the money he started with, then he quits and pockets the winnings, takes the winnings to me, then plays with his original investment unless he begins to get a few bucks behind, then he quits for the day.
The man listened intently. I could tell he was not only listening to Gramps’ experience but he was processing the information with keen interest. He told Gramps, “Thanks,” as he walked away.
Like Philip Smith said, sometimes experience is the best teacher. Even someone else’s experiences can be a good teacher. That is often called a testimony. We always learn from someone else’s testimony. They give us hope that we can conquer a problem in our lives because someone else has done it.
As we walked away, I said to Gramps, “Well, I guess they think you’re a real slow learner since it took you fifty years to learn that lesson.”
Gramps said, “No, they think I’m a retarded learner for it to have taken fifty years to learn that.”
I know that couple will think about Gramps and maybe they will decide that fifty years is too long to wait, and maybe the young man will stop gambling altogether.
I do believe that the other man will heed the wise words that Gramps told him and he will wisely monitor his gambling, like Gramps does, before he becomes a big loser. Then when he begins winning, I think that he will take the sizeable winnings to his wife for safe keeping. It’s certainly worked for us.
Maybe Gramps’ experience will be a good teacher for those three people since Philip Smith’s teacher Mrs. Cox isn‘t here to teach that valuable lesson. The experience of Gramps can certainly be the best teacher in this instance.

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CHOICES:BLUEBERRY CREPES OR HEARTY MEATLOAF

Sometimes we are flabbergasted at the choices some people make. Sometimes their choices turn out to be beneficial and sometimes they turn out not to be beneficial. On a recent trip with Bin and Kit we saw the results of a quickly made choice that Bin made.
We were celebrating the 65th wedding anniversary of Rob and Annie, and they graciously invited us to have lunch at a great restaurant. There were lots of college students there, plus many other people of varying ages. All seemed to be enjoying their gourmet meals.
When we sat down we all gazed around at the meals being served to people at tables in close proximity to ours. Bin’s eyes fixated on a plate of blueberry crepes. He decided right then and there that that would be his choice of a meal. After all, it was listed on the entrée menu, not solely on the dessert list.
Gramps hurriedly decided to order the meatloaf plate, which I wondered about since this was known as an upper scale restaurant. Kit made the same choice and questioned Bin about his choice of the crepes. He was immoveable. He wanted the crepes.
The rest of us chose various things. Mine was goat cheese and shrimp quesadillas, Rob’s was eggs Benedict with salmon. Annie chose some fancy cheese filled crepes along with chicken, artichoke and mushroom soup. Kit also ordered the soup and some jalapeno, pecan and artichoke stuffing as side dishes to her meatloaf.
That should give you an idea of what a plethora of interesting things the menu contained. Bin persisted in his order of blueberry crepes. When the waitress brought the plates, Gramps and Kit’s plates had servings that left us with bug-eyed. The meatloaf looked like a half pound slice of meat on each plate, the biggest serving I’ve ever seen. My plate was completely covered with the quesadillas. Annie’s plate was overflowing with her order, as was Rob’s. Bin’s plate had three small blitzes (crepes) in the middle of the huge plate. It was topped with sweet blueberry sauce.
Bin’s face fell into a distinctive look, much like that of a sad, sad basset hound. His crepes were delicious, he said, but he eventually finished his meal before the rest of us had finished a fourth of our hearty meals.
I tried really hard not to look at Bin, knowing that if I continued to see his sad look that I would possibly get choked on my food from laughing. You know me, I couldn’t resist; and, yes, I almost got choked.
When we all ordered desserts Bin refrained from ordering because he had already gone over his daily allotment of sugar since he’s diabetic.
As we all inhaled our wonderful desserts, Bin continued with his basset hound demeanor, sad that he had already had his meal which was customarily considered as a dessert while the rest of us were consuming meat hearty meals. We felt sympathy for Bin, but we also enjoyed laughing with him about his choice. Yes, he was laughing along with us.
The whole occasion reminded me of the Apostle Paul in the Bible. He said that there were some people who preferred teachings that were like milk instead of meat. He said that he could only serve some people spiritual milk because that is all they can eat and digest. He also said that there were people in Corinth to whom he could feed meat because they had well formed spiritual digestive systems that could handle truths that were meaty. They were able to chew them up completely, swallow them and safely digest them. He said that the Holy Spirit would make the truths part of their being.
Bin liked his blueberry crepes because they were delicious, but he longingly looked at the hearty meat loaf that Kit and Gramps had on their plates, probably cognizant of the fact that the meat would stay in their systems a long time but he might be hungry again in a few hours.
Both meals were delicious and nutritious, the crepes and the meatloaf. The meatloaf was full of iron and bulk, though, and had staying power.
Little did Bin know when he made the choice between the crepes and the meatloaf that he would give us lots of laughs and also a valuable visual lesson on what Paul was saying to the Corinthians. He was saying to the Corinthians, “Order the meatloaf next time.”
Gramps couldn’t resist continuing on with the ribbing. After we came home he cut a recipe out of the paper for blueberry crepes and sent it to Bin. Kit later reported to us that Bin laughed and laughed when he opened the letter containing the recipe.
I still laugh every time I visualize Bin’s basset hound look when he visually compared his plate of blueberry crepes with the two other plates laden with man sized slices of meatloaf.
I’m certainly not comparing Bin to the Corinthian milk drinkers because Bin is certainly a deeply religious man. I’m just using his experience as an example of the importance of choices in our lives.
What is appealing to the eyes is not always the right choice. Just ask Adam and Eve. They made the wrong choice and look where all of us are in the earth, every day having to choose between blueberry crepes and hearty meatloaf.
Choices do make a difference.