GRAMPS BARYSHNIKOV

Our weekly Sunday dollar move date gave way to our annual Arkansas fall foliage tour yesterday. We always have our itinerary all worked out so that we time our lunch break at Huntsville, Arkansas so we can eat at Granny's Kitchen, a wonderul country cooking style restaurant. It's a piece of down-home Arkansas which I cannot adequately describe you have to eat there to appreciate the ambiance and the food. Everyone in town eats at Granny's after church on Sunday and we always get there right after noon so we can enjoy the friendly gathering of kissing cousins, aunts, uncles, mommas, pops, old and young at Granny's.

I always order the fried chicken special which consists of half a chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, a veggie and a softball size hot roll. Gramps always gets the meatloaf special which is equally as large and delicious.

We decided to get an extra fried chicken meal to take home and eat later in the week because the chicken is so delicious and so reasonably priced at $5.50. I also asked for a carryout box for the rest of my chicken which consisted of an uneaten leg, a breast and a thigh. I had eaten the wing and the potatoes and veggies, saving room for the apple dumpling with ice cream that we later shared, which was divine.

After we paid the bill we left, with Gramps carrying in one of his hands the boxed extra meal which was neatly placed in a large plastic sack. On the palm of his other hand he carried my carryout box with the remains of my chicken dinner order firmly balanced. We leisurely walked out the door. I spotted some old metal lawn chairs identical to some we have, but their chairs had beautifully painted flowers on the backs. Gramps was walking ahead of me out the door and down the porch to the car.

Now, since Gramps is the family artist I casually mentioned to him that maybe he could paint flowers on the backs of our metal chairs like the ones on the porch at Granny's Kitchen, so I asked him to look at them. Gramps immediately turned around to take a quick look at the beautifully painted chairs, all six feet two inches of him still gingering carrying a chicken dinner in each hand.

I alsways knew that Gramps was a good dancer but he proved to me he must have been a ballet dancer in another life because what happened next was phenomenal. There was a step down from the porch which Gramps did not notice, and suddenly he did a perfectly graceful ballet pirouette, packaged fried chicken in each hand. One leg went into the air, the other foot stayed on the porch, he twisted and turned in several complete circles, and landed flat on his back on the fender of a car parked in front of Granny's Kitchen. With an equal amount of grace he lifted himself up from the customer's car, both hands still safely clutching the precious fried chicken.

I've never seen him move so fast. He jumped up, looked to see if anyone else was around, then assured me that he was okay after I ran to him and helped him steady himself on his two feet.

As is my usual habit, I started laughing. I couldn't help it. He had just performed the most graceful ballet steps, balancing the boxes of fried chicken like boxes of precious jewels. I finally stopped laughing but began again when Gramps said he was just thandful that the owner of the car had not activated the car alarm or he would have reallly called attention to himself sprawled out on the front of the car clutching a sack in one hand and a to-go box in the other with the car alarm honking loudly. Then I doubled over in laughter again.

If anyone was looking out the many windows of Granny's Kitchen and saw the activity of the guy accidentally acting like a Russian ballet performer trying to avoid losing the boxed meals in the dirt of the parking lot and landing on the fender of a car I'm sure they are telling the story to all their kissing cousins in Huntsville.

If Gramps hadn't been an athlete and very physically fit he could have broken something, but he came out of his peformance fit as a fiddle.

I used to think we might take line dancing lessons, but I think we'll check into ballet lessons . Gramps is a natural at ballet.

Fortunately Gramps was okay, just a little blood from a small place on his arm. The car was fine. Gramps' ego was not damaged because he has always liked to make me laugh, which he regularly does. This time his comedy act was completely unrehearsed and unplanned, but he outdid himself by bringing hysterical laughter to me unexpectedly. I made sure he was okay before I started laughing. I couldn't help it. It's in my genes. My dad was the same way, he always laughed when some one fell down. Both of my sisters do the same thing. I once laughed uncontrollably when our oldest sister slipped on the top stair at my house and bounced on her behind all the way to the landing. I couldn't even help her. I had to go in my bedroom, close the door and fall on the bed laughing. I must talk to a psychologist about this family trait. Gramps said in this instance it was good for the digestion since he laughed, too.

Without any ballet training Gramps would make Baryshnikov jealous.
Eat your heart out, Baryshnikov. Gramps is a natural.

PROUD TO BE OKIES FROM OKAY

The Lady Mustangs volleyball team from Okay, Oklahoma, made this MeMe and Gramps proud last week when they showed, "championship caliber class" at their game with Metro Christian. Our grand daughter Lindsey Allen plays for the Lady Mustangs. They mourned with the girls on the opposing team by wearing the number 7 on their arms in honor of Laura Lester who was killed along with her parents and a sister in an airplane accident a week before the game. They also presented the opposing team a bouquet of flowers and a sympathy card to let them know that they appreciated that they took "time out of their healing" as quoted by Coach Clark, to play the Okay Lady Mustangs in their scheduled game. Coach Clark of the Lady Mustangs said that they might be competitors on the court but we are all humans and the girls all needed to come together at that time, showing love and sympathy for the girls on the Metro Christian team because of the loss of their teammate and friend.Lindsey has always showed love and compassion for people. We are proud of her and her teammates for showering the entire team and coaching staff of Metro Christian with the sympathetic gestures that they did. I'm sure it was a shock to that team to be honored in such a way, honoring Laura Lester's prior contribution to her team on the event of her death.Metro Christian's school is sixty miles from Okay, but I know they will always remember the heartfelt compassion that the Okay, Oklahoma, Lady Mustang volleyball team showed to them at the time of their mourning. I am so proud of Lindsey and her team. They made it known that competition took a back seat to love and compassion when they proved themselves to the community as girls with sterling character. Now that's what I call true class.Lindsey, the entire team of Lady Mustangs and Coach Clark proved that the attitudes of true athletes is in the respectful and caring way they treat their opponents.We are so proud of them for showing maturity beyond their years and character that their parents and grandparents will crow about for years.
Congratulations, Lady Mustangs, you proved yourselves to be real ladies.

DR. PEPPER BAPTISM

Class, manners, courage, politeness and gentlemanliness are just bred into some people. Yes, family training is involved in the equation also. Kids act and react the way their parents and grandparents act and react. That's called experience, learning from good and bad examples set for them.
There's another more contemporary term related to a teenager who has class, manners, courage, politeness and gentlemanliness. It's called COOLNESS.
Our grandson Jess is what everyone calls cool. It's universally known what that words signifies. Even two year old kids know that descriptive term and use it in their limited vocabularies. Jesse proved his total coolness in an experience he had with his other grandparents, Freda and Bob.
What was reported to me very energetically by the grandparents was a story that they were excited to share with anyone and everyone who would listen, and rightfully so. Freda is the one who labeled Jesse's actions as really cool ,with good manners, she said. Actually both grandparents were kind of awe-struck at Jesse's calm, cool reaction to an unfortunate accident.
It seems that Freda had taken Jesse to an appointment with the dermatologist, an adventure in itself, which involved being misinformed of the location of the doctor's office, waiting an hour a the wrong office, then waiting another hour at the appropriate office. Then after being handed a prescription they made their way to the pharmacy, only to be informed there that they had the wrong colored slip, that they needed a pink one. Back they went to get the right colored slip. Needless to say, Freda and Jesse were both beginning to experience some displeasure at the way the day was beginning. However, it eventually worked out and they called Grandpa Bob to meet them for breakfast because 17 year old Jesse was starving.
They met at restaurant and ordered their drinks, coffee for Freda since Bob had arrived earlier and already had his coffee. Ice water was also ordered for the senior citizens and Dr. Pepper for the teenager. Soon after, the waitress brought the drinks to the table, a huge glass of Dr. Pepper, one steaming cup of coffee and two glasses of ice water.
Immediately the baptism began as the entire contents of the tray must have slid off because all of the beverages from the tray hit Jesse in the chest, ending up in his lap. There he sat, soaked in 28 ounces of Dr. Pepper, the contents of two full glasses of ice water and one cup of hot coffee.
Now, most teenagers become embarrassed at being the center of a spectacle, but not Jessee. His other grandparents proudly related to us that he sat there drenched in the liquids and the only remark he calmly made was, "Ohhhh, that's cold."
There was no outburst of anger, no look of disgust for the waitress and no foul mouthed language.
He became more the center of attention as everyone began to soak up the lake of beverages on him and two inches on the floor around him, but he still remained calm and cool, the Rock of Gibraltar. He did comment that his feet were swimming in the inch of liquid inside of his shoes. From the chest down, not an inch of his body, his shirt, his pants, his shoes and socks were dry, yet Jesse ate his breakfast in gentle conversation with his grand parents.
Grandpa Bob did comment that he suggested that the cute waitress put her arm around Jesse to keep him warm after the patient young man made his first gentle complaint of, "I'm cold.," but Jesse refused her offer.
The waitress paid for Jesse's breakfast, and rightfully so. She should have, and he was grateful for that. He went home to shower and change clothes before going back to school.
The waitress confessed that this was the first time she had spilled anything on anyone in all her 13 years of being a waitress. I know that she is still telling the story about the handsome, nice, cool, calm and collected teenage boy whom she baptized with the entire contents of a beverage tray. She will tell the story for years to come about how lucky she was that the object of the accident was a young, handsome gentleman.
When I asked him if I would write a story about his experience he told me yes, but he added that the steaming hot coffee also burned his arm. That was the first negative, factual comment from his mouth about the situation .
Anyone else would have been mad and incensed. Not Jesse. He's COOL. You know what that means, it means he's got superior character that makes his loving parents and grandparents proud.
Keep it up, Jesse. your coolness continues to shine forth.

T SHIRT PHILOSOPHY

Grandson Nathan didn't get to visit us this summer when Jarrett and Stephen came. He played in the Volleyball National Junior Olympics in Atlanta, Georgia at the time they were with us. We certainly thought about him a lot, especially when we were shooting fireworks on the 4th of July along with their cousins Jesse and Lindsey.
We especially thought about Nathan when we saw a T shirt that said LIFE IS CRAP, so we bought him one. Sometimes negative comments from people make us think that they have that philosophy about life. Nathan has to work at being positive, but being negative is not an unusual attitude for any teenager to have.
However, on the T shirt were also pictures of an ice cream sundae on the left side of the shirt and a carrot on the right side. It said, "I wanted this," underneath the ice cream sundae and said, "I got this," underneath the carrot. Then the words LIFE IS CRAP.
Actually, the T shirt is a very positive thing. We all know that often fertilizer can come from excrement (often called crap) of certain animals. Also, fertilizer is what makes plants grow into healthy vegetables with great nutrients.
Ice cream is not a good thing for health, even though Gramps loves it. It actually makes him grow in the middle, where he doesn't want to grow. No one gets big in the middle by eating carrots. When Gramps is on a health kick the first thing he stops eating is ice cream. BUT carrots, now, carrots have wonderful vitamins in them. My parents always told me to eat my carrots and I would have healthy eyes, able to see in the dark. I can see great in the dark so maybe they were right. Anyway, the T shirt has turned out to be a very positive philosophy for Nathan to display to people.
Crap used as fertilizer makes carrots grow into healthy, beneficial vegetables which improve eyesight, heart health and mental sharpness. Ice cream doesn't have those benefits.
So I guess Nathan's T shirt is a positive lesson, that being that life's good fertilizer grows crops of healthy plants which will benefit us in the future.
I hope everyone who reads Nathan's T shirt will understand the deep meaning behind his T shirt philosophy. Maybe he'll have to explain it to some people, that he's a walking advertisement for eating carrots and getting healthy.
Also I hope that he knows that there are many times when life seems crappy but that you must use those times for good learning experiences that become like nutritious carrots in your life, making you stronger and more mature.
He's a smart kid. He'll figure it out.

HOOTER HILARITY

On the teenage grandchildren's visit this year we took an unusual excursion. Don't fall out of your chair when you read where we went. We went to Hooters for lunch one day. Jay wanted a Hooter's T shirt to wear on his trip to Cozumel. Lucy didn't want to go at all, thought Hooters had naked ladies and she didn't want to be embarrassed.. Gramps told her Hooters in the neighboring city is just like Applebee's but the girls have on shorts and T shirts. She agreed to go.
Sure enough, It was a nice place with good food and the girls were modestly dressed. Their medium sized busts were not as large as the teenagers had all imagined. I guess the teenagers had imagined that the girls would fall over forward with their larger than life bosoms.
After we walked into the restaurant Lucy remarked that the shorts the girls wear are just like the shorts she plays volleyball in, and that her friend Sue has a bigger bust than the girls at Hooters. The trip was a lesson to them on how wrong judgments can emanate from the imagination.
After we sat there a while having fun, laughing and talking, Gramps looked at some of the waitresses and said, "I'll bet none of them are real, anyway." To which Jackson, the oldest grandson with us, said, "I wasn't thinking anything about that, Grandpa. I was just thinking how beautiful the female body is." Sam, the youngest teenage grandson, said, "I wasn't looking at the girls, I was contemplating the theory of quantum physics." Lucy, our oldest granddaughter, said, "I was contemplating the end of the world." Jay, always the clown, said, "I was thinking exactly what Granpa was thinking." We all roared.
It has always been like that for the entire time our grandkids visit, a laugh a minute.
Everyone thinks we are nutty for taking them to Hooter's, but we don't want to make anything seem forbidden to them when, in reality, it is nothing that they won't see at the neighborhood pool or at a volleyball game. The girls at Hooter's seemed to all of us like the girl next door, sweet and kind, and really good waitresses.
Gramps took the kids to Chaps the next day, a local hot dog place, which is a tradition for them to go to at least once on their visits. When they got back they said the girl who fixed their hot dogs was dressed more revealing than the girls at Hooters.
Go figure!
A valuable lesson learned!

DISAPPEARING GRAMPS

The dollar movie always provides great entertainment for us, sometimes from the movies and sometimes from our experiences at the movies. See, we always go to a movie that is showing at noon on Sunday after we have our amazing lunch at Sam’s Discount for $1.67 for a hotdog and unlimited pops. That makes our outing that day cost a whopping six bucks. Our last experience at the movie theater was silly, but gave us a big laugh. We were late getting to the theater because we left home late. It was dark when we walked into the theater that was showing our choice of movie for the day. We were the only ones who were interested in the particular showing that day, I guess, because we had the room to ourselves. In the darkness we felt our way down the aisle touching every end seat on our way in an effort to keep our bearings. As we came to the middle of the aisles and what seemed like the perfect row of seats I asked Gramps if that seemed to be the right distance from the screen. He said it was perfect, so I entered the row of seats and felt each seat until I figured we would be in the center of the screen. I sat down in one of the theater’s newly acquired plush secondhand seats, ready to enjoy the romantic movie (commonly called a chick flick) with my hubby. It was still unusually dark in the room but I was glad we were able to find our way down the aisle, stumbling into the center and into the right seats. The coming attractions began immediately. I commented to Gramps that I wanted to see a certain upcoming movie because it looked like it would be entertaining. Gramps remarked that he would like to see it, also, but when he said it I wondered if he had acquired a bad sore throat on the way into the theater because he commented in a very far away, weak sounding voice. It took me a minute to figure out that Gramps had entered an aisle a couple of rows behind me rather than the aisle I was seated in. He was relaxing in a seat in a different aisle, ready for the feature to begin. There we were, the only couple in the movie theater sitting several rows apart, albeit but in the perfect center of our respective aisles. Anyone entering the room at the time would have thought were mad at each other, taking seats in different rows in the theater with every other seat in the huge room empty. Now, I know that Gramps still has great eyesight because he has two new lenses in his eyes after having cataract surgery. However, I’m wondering about his hearing. The next day when I fixed dinner I put our plates on trays because we wanted to watch TV while we ate. I got the trays beautifully prepared and called Gramps and told him to come get his tray. He didn’t answer immediately so I got closer and yelled out, “Come get your tray. Dinner is ready.” Gramps immediately yelled back, “Artificial intelligence.” Where in the world did that come from? He still can’t remember what he thought I said. I do think we need to have his hearing checked. Or yet, maybe he’s trying to get a message across to me. “Artificial intelligence“? Humm, I better think a while longer on that remark.

HEARTS BECOME ANGELS

Mercedes is a beautiful name, to me always signifying elegance and beauty. When a friend announced to me that her great granddaughter’s name is Mercedes, I was very impressed. I knew that the little girl has a name standing for elegance and beauty. When I finally met Mercedes I knew that her name was perfect, because I saw a little girl who is beautiful, smart and elegant.
At the time I did not know that Mercedes is artistic, also. I had heard that her teachers have said that she is gifted, but I had never seen first hand evidence of that myself until recently.
My friend Jane, who is Mercedes’ great grandmother, told me that the five year old girl had one day asked for some readings from the Bible. Jane obliged her and when she opened her Bible a message called Dear Ones was visible, so Jane read it to her. The message was signed, “Love, God.” Mercedes was very impressed by the signature so she asked Jane if she could draw a heart below the part that read, “Love, God.” Jane told her that yes, of course she could add her personal touch to God’s closing signature on the message.
Mercedes drew a beautiful heart but didn’t stop there. She added her personal artistic touch by using the heart as the body of an angel as she added a head, two wings and two legs with feet to make a wonderful picture of an angel. That was a creative and unique idea, to make an angel out of the picture of God’s heart of love. I think that Mercedes knows God a lot better than a lot of adults. Jesus said a little child shall lead them. In this instance Mercedes’ artistic drawing has led me to see God’s love and his angels in every heart shaped image that I see.
I’m eager to see what Mercedes’ next artistic stroke of genius will be. She will amaze us all, I know.