The Snake and Gramps Speedo

This is Gramps!

"The Adventures of MeMe and Gramps"We used to come to parties at this house before we bought it. A doctor friend and his wife built the house. Their son, Todd, a teenager at the time, had a huge snake, a boa. Everybody knew it. The doctor and his wife eventually divorced and sold the house to another doctor, who eventually lost the house and it was foreclosed on. The last doctor only lived in this house for a year. When we first bought the house, after it came out of foreclosure, and we moved into the house our neighbor, Sadie, reminded us about the boa, Todd's snake, and that it had escaped one day from the house and had been seen around the neighborhood at various times. She wanted us to know that because of all the crevices in the house, since it's split level, has a sunken pit, and also has the bomb shelter in the basement. That put the thought into our minds that the boa might still be around our house. She even told us that the year before we moved in that someone had seen the boa a couple of blocks away. Several days later a neighbor behind us and two doors down had a big rattlesnake on her patio. The snake fear was amplified in our minds. About a month later, Gramps was in the back, around the pool, and he was cleaning leaves, etc. from around the pool. I heard him yell and ran to see what it was and he promptly told me that he saw a huge snake over the fence in Sadie's back yard. I looked over the fence and saw a big snake coiled and saw diamonds on its back. We both jumped back and discussed what to do. Gramps said he could get his shotgun and shoot it. We decided that wouldn't be a good idea. Then I thought about calling animal control at the police department and ask them what to do. Gramps called them and they said that they would send someone out immediately. We paced in our back yard around the pool, praying that it wouldn't get away before the authorities got here. I was too scared to take another look at the snake. It was so ugly. Gramps has always hated snakes, so he didn't look at it again at the time. A policeman showed up at our front door, armed with a gun at his hip. He had a fearful look on his face. Gramps had remained in the back yard while I answered the door. The policeman went in the back yard and Gramps told him that he knew exactly where the snake was in Sadie's back yard. Gramps proceeded to lead the policeman around to the front yard and then into Sadie's back yard. They slowly crept up to the place where the snake was coiled. The policeman had his hand on his gun on his hip the whole time. I was still in our back yard by the pool in the vicinity of the snake so I could direct them to the proper place if they couldn't see it. All of a sudden I heard Gramps say, "I guess he crawled away because I don't see it anymore." Boy, I was not glad to hear that! Now we had to live with that fear for the rest of our lives. The policeman left and Gramps sheepishly came back into our back yard. I asked him where he thought the snake had gone. He told me to look over the fence again and look at the snake. I was confused but did it. I looked over the fence and jumped back. It was still there. Gramps said, "Look real good." I did. Gramps then said, "MeMe, tha'ts the gas meter." Oh, my word, it really was the gas meter. Thankfully the policeman never knew that the snake was really a gas meter with part of it covered with leaves. We rejoiced in the fact that Gramps did not get his shotgun and shoot the snake or we would be dead, and the whole neighborhood would be blown to smithereens. My problem is, I was the one that thought I saw diamonds on its back. Second laugh: Gramps just reminded me that the most embarrassing part was not about the snake but that all of this happened while he was in his, ewwwwwwwwwwww, Speedo. Yes, he paraded in the neighborhood in his > ewwwwwwwwwww Speedo while talking to the policeman and leading him into the neighbor's back yard.

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