ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER DOLLAR

ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER DOLLAR
T.Wieland Allen

Another day, another dollar, you've heard that old saying. In reality, for Gramps and me it was another Sunday, another dollar spent for each of us at the Supersaver Movie Theater. The outings never fail to provide great entertainment from the movies we see, but there always seems to be some extracurricular entertainment that comes from the most unlikely sources at the dollar movie places.

One Sunday lately we had our Sam's hot dog and coke, drove immediately to the Supersaver and walked inside the entrance to pay our two bucks to see a good spy thriller in which two of our favorite actors played the lead roles. Gramps stepped up to the window to pay for us so I stepped aside and began to read the printed pamphlet listing the other six movies playing at the theater. The pamphlet was Scotch taped to the window of the ticket booth. Glancing down underneath the pamphlet, I saw a sign that I had not previously noticed so I had not read it on our other three visits to the Supersaver. Herein was the added entertainment that we weren't expecting, although other patrons of the theater probably didn't find the colorful sign a thing of interest.

The colorful professionally printed sign contained this interesting public information:

"OUR AIM IS TO KEEP OUR BATHROOMS CLEAN.


GENTLEMEN:
YOUR AIM WILL HELP.
STAND CLOSER.
IT'S SHORTER THAN YOU THINK.


LADIES:
PLEASE REMAIN SEATED DURING YOUR ENTIRE
PERFORMANCE. "

Isn't that just the most priceless bit of information you ever heard, a place of business coaching the men to please stand closer to the urinal and coaching the women to please remain seated on the toilet until completely finished with their business.

I'll be willing to wager a few dollars that those fancy new movie theaters that charge eight to ten collars to see the same movies that we get to see a few weeks later for only a dollar aren't concerned enough about their patrons that they display a printed sign coaching people on bathroom etiquette.

Oh, maybe I got it wrong. Maybe the people who frequent the dollar movie theaters are use to being sloppy when they potty, and therein lies the reason for the sign. Gramps and I got a big laugh out of the sloppy potty notification.

I'm still really confused on the advice for the gentlemen, what are they referring to as being shorter, the distance or the .........