NO SMOOCHING IN THE DARK

NO SMOOCHING IN THE DARK
T. Wieland Allen

Our adventures at the Dollar Movie just keep going on. We've changed locations because our old Dollar Movie began starting the first features at 1:30 instead of at noon, like they did for years. Also, they raised their prices to $1.25. We can afford that, but it's the principle of the thing. If it's called the Dollar Movie, it should cost a dollar.

You'll find that as you age, normal routines just are hard to break. We're used to having our Sam's hot dog and Coke at 11:00, then get to the movie at noon to see whatever starts at noon as long as it's not an R rated one, R being too raunchy for us.

We decided to start frequenting another Dollar Movie called the Supersaver, which still costs $1.00. It's a pretty old theater, much like the other one was when we first started frequenting it; but the price is right and the starting times of the movies are right since the first showings are at 12;00 noon, just like we like it, so our routine stays the same.

One Sunday we arrived at the new to us, but very old, Supersaver theater. It was a cold, cold winter day. After we bought our tickets for $1.00 apiece, we made our way down the hall to the very last room where our choice of movie was playing. When we walked in the door, the room was pitch black, I mean black, black, no upper lights, no lights around the screen, no lights down the aisle. It was black in the room.

Gramps and I clutched each other for support and felt the backs of the seats on the back row until we came to the last one, found the space which we assumed was the aisle, then walked ever so slowly down what appeared to be an aisle. We thought the room was empty until a male voice kindly said, "Do you need some light?" Then he shined a flashlight beam down the aisle until we found a particular seat we wanted to occupy. We were grateful for his assistance. We joked with him about the Dollar Movie and how we all have to put up with inconveniences like having to wear our winter coats, hats and gloves the entire two hours when there is no heat, and having to bring a flashlight in case the lights are off.

We had good laughs in our conversation with the man and his wife. Another couple chimed in. They were a few rows behind us on the left, I guess. Couldn't swear to that because it was like being in a cave fifty feet underground. It's strange how you form a quick brotherhood with patrons of the Dollar Movie and Supersaver because you endure hardships together, all in the name of saving seven bucks.

We continued carrying on a conversation with the man with the flashlight, laughing and enjoying the funny experiences that we've all had while frequenting the bargain theater.

Gramps and I started talking amongst ourselves and the man started talking quietly and intimately to his wife. Sounded like they were about six rows behind us, but I can't be sure because visibility was about the end of your own nose, if that far.

After a few minutes Gramps commented that we should go out and tell an attendant at the snack bar to tell someone to turn on the lights. The gentleman who had graciously shined his flashlight for us echoed Gramps' suggestion, that someone should do just that.

Suddenly the man's wife said, "I already did that."
"When did you do that?" That comment obviously came from her husband.
"I did it a long time ago and I just got back," she said sweetly.
"You mean you were gone all the time I was talking so sweetly to you? "
"I guess I was," she said, "because I just got back."

Gramps and I hooted at the image in our minds of the man talking so sweetly and intimately to the empty seat next to him. The other couple to the left several rows behind us hooted also.

Suddenly all the lights in the theater came on and all six of us in unison said, "Let there be light."

I'll bet not many churches had six people quoting a Bible verse extemporaneously in unison that day like we did in the Dollar Movie. It shows we all go to church and know the Bible.

So we had another funny Sunday at the place where we have more laughs than any other place. And the movie was hilarious, to boot. We picked a good one, even though I'm glad we wore our heavy coats, hats and gloves the entire time. It was freezing in there.

We're not desperate for entertainment. It just doesn't take much to entertain us.